Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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