She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
