Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
