get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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