her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
