So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
