I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
