There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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