why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
