I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
