Whod you bang
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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