UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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