STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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