You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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