You're completely useless in the revolution.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
