guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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