I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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