threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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