i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?