a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
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I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone