You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
