I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Randomize
