just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
