About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
