she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I checked into jail on foursquare
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
