It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
love makes seman taste better
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he fucked my hip out of place.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
