I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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