the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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