Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
