i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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