Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
