Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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