hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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