It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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