Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
