Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
