Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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