I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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