their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
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I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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