Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
