I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
