i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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