wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
