he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
