My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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