Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
