their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
