Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
why is half of my head shaved?
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