hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
