Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
