1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
