And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
