Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
