Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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