the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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