In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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