I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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