saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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