i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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