The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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