Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize