is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
there is glitter all over my balls
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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